Care Instructions

I was reading the tag on my belt, because, well, I do things like that. On one side it had the sizing and the material it's made out of and where it's made. It also says "CARE ON REVERSE". I thought, Hm, I didn't know you were supposed to wash your belt. Come to find out, you're not supposed to. The so-called "care instructions" are as follows: REMOVE BEFORE WASHING.

Carbonated

Apparently, my body is unable to properly take in carbonated beverages. It seems, anytime I drink soda or something with bubbles, I cry. My mother, being the loving woman that she is, noticed this today while we were at lunch. This was her response: "It's just so beautiful," as she *wiped* a tear away from her face. Thanks mom. Love you too. And so, I sit in the basement, drinking soda, by myself. At least the computer doesn't mock me.

Donuts?

First off, is it "donuts" or "doughnuts"? But that's besides the point. "People are like donuts. Some are good, some are bad, and some are just plain gross." Many thanks to my brother. For his insane talk that makes everyone laugh. And wonder at his mental stability. We all love 'im.